What's better than sex? Nothing

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Knock knock Who's there? Doug I'm sorry Doug, I cannot answer the door, as I am a parrot well trained in English. But am locked in a cage.

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GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Cheese that isn't yours

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what's green and has wheels? grass, i lied about the wheels.

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That awkward moment when the moment is awkward.

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what did the man see in the mirror? Nothing, he was blind.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

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Why did the black man jump off the cliff? He was in a spiraling depression due to recently being laid off at work, his troubled home life, and the recent death of his sister.

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A ninja walks into a bar the bartender asks "what would you like?" The ninja says "i'll have two green eyes" the bartender says "we dont have green eyes this is america" so the ninja is so mad that he goes home and brutally beats his wife with a spatula.

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A man and a dog were sitting on a hill, the dog says to the man "Nice weather we are having today isn't it?" The man then goes insane because dogs can't talk, then later commits suicide from depression caused by his wife leaving him.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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What's the best part of a family reunion? The sodomy.

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What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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Q:What is a black guy running with an iPod in his hand? A: A person who enjoys to listen to music while running.

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How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

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Yo mom's so fat, she's overweight !

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Being a jew in the Holocaust.

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A completely inebriated man walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her, placed his hand up her skirt and began fondling her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her." "Why you drunken, worthless, insufferable son of a BITCH!" she screamed. "Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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