What do you call a middle eastern man flying a plane?? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

thumb_up thumb_down -27

How do you leave a gay guy in suspense? How? ......................

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

thumb_up thumb_down -33

How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Chicken eats your pie filled with monkey guts!!

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What do you call Santa's helpers? Chinese factory workers, who live in impoverished conditions, work up to 16 hours a day, earning slave wages. God damn you, Steve Jobs and Mattel.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

what do babies and prostitutes have in common they will both cry if you hit them with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What happens when you lay a diamond in the water for two hours? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Sorry boss

thumb_up thumb_down +54

A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. But it wasn't as good as he had hoped it would be.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

What's the color of a retarde dogs hair? 69

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A black guy and a few other white guys steal a keg. They then proceed to have an awesome party consisting of extreme inebriation and a massive orgy.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A fish swims up stream for his natural spawning cycle. The fish was out of shape and died from heart failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Whats worse than being arrested for a crime you didn't commit? Teenage pregnancy.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How do you kill a blonde? you shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why do I know Vin Diesel is gay? Because I sucked his dick

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Two women were sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops