Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sausage is brown, and so is my wife.

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How did they wake up Lady Gaga? They p-p-poked her face p-p-poked her face......!

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A jewish man is sitting on a bench. A german man then proceeds to sit down next to him. They say nothing to each other.

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Why didn't the black man pay child support? He had no children.

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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How big is kevins Dick? Idk ask his mom!

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Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

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Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

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How do you flatten a worm? Feed it to a little boy, and then drop a refrigerator on him.

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I got it Nero, lets just be friends for now and forget about the work I do here and you there.

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Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

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*knock knock "there's a door bell"

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

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Holocaust jokes are not funny. My Grandpa died in the Holocaust... He fell off of the guard tower.

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Knock knock GET OUTTA HERE! Jesus Christ dude I just came for some eggs!....

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two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks.

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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I have glasses but cannot see I have feet but cannot walk What am I? A riddle.

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What is the difference between Santa, and a Jew? Santa goes DOWN the chimney

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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When I'm sad I cut myself... another slice of cheesecake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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