A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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If an atom bomb falls in a town, does it make a sound? Not to most people, as they would be killed in a massive catastrophe that will be etched into their ancestors minds for years to come, not to mention radiation poisoning and deformation.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have Alzheimer's ... Roses are Red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's (continues)

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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Where did little Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere

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don't look behind you

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

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What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

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What do you call a black guy who flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

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What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

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Q. What's the difference between a movie star and a manikin? A. Nothing.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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A jew, a catholic and an atheist are in the desert. They see a dusty lamp. They take it and rub it. Once the lamp is clean, they put it back on the sand and kep walking.

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A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

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What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

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There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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What should you do if you are locked in the trunk of a car? Yell for help.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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Two 50 year old men walk into eachother on the street. one was born in a hobo shack and another was born in a mansion. what did the rich one say to the poor one? Hi, whats your name?

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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