There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What do you call a gay man flying an aeroplane? A pilot.

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Q: What is the most common question among children? A: How are babies made?

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Why did the man get thrown out of the cinema? The man began to masturbate. He was also blind.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

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Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

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hi michael

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A blonde walks into a library. She is a commerce major.

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

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How do you prevent aids? Nail an orphan to your genitals before sex.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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how do you make a family tan? You burn them in the house.

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What do you call a blind, crippled, child? Unlucky.

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Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, your tits are nice

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a ginger has a soul

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How do you drown a blond? Hold her head under water until she finally stops thrashing around.

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What do you call a guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub? A guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub.

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You know what your problem is? I'm too good looking.

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What do you call a fish with no "eyes" Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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