Why wasn't the rabbit elgible to vote? Because rabbits aren't human beings, and only humans are allowed to vote.

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If life gives you lemons, don't accept them because you have a citrus allergy.

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What do you call a black man with his doctorate in the field of marine biology? Doctor

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Some guy stapled it to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at it. Why did the girl fall off her bike? She was hit by 3 dead monkeys and a refrigerator.

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Do you know why children in Africa don't read Harry Potter too much? Because they can't read.

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how do u get a nun pregnant? dress her up as an alter boy

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Why do women get pregnant? Beacuse it hurts and they deserve it.

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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A black man walks into a book store.

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender says "hey. get out."

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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A blonde, brunette and a redhead are taken captive by a native tribe. They didn't survive the encounter.

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Black People.

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A Priest in a Rabbi walk into a bar. They talk about religion.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

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What did the umpire yell to the flatulent player at bat? FOUL BOWEL!

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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road To Get To The Other Side

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What's are the screams and terror when midnight hits? Vannlia Ice's face.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sausage is brown, and so is my wife.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A black man walks into a bar and see's a mexican bartender. He orders some vodka.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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