What did the man do when he saw there was water spilled on his desk? He waited two hours for it to evaporate because he was too lazy to wipe it up.

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What does a black man, an Asian Man, and a Jewish Man have in common? They are all men.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and is therefore ineligible for a driver's license.

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There was a car crash in Mexico, 78 people were announced dead.

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A shark walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The shark replies i dont have cancer just a terrible drinking problem.

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Why did the woman cross the road? She didn't. They are no roads in the kitchen.

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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Why did the boy rip out all of his hair? He was insane.

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Roses are white, tulips are white, wait whos been masturbating in my garden!

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What do dogs and cats have in common? They eat dog food, accept for the cat.

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If you're happy and you know it - put your hands in the air i have a gun.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Q:why did the woman make a sandwitch. A: cause she is a woman

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whats yellow sticky and smelly? I dont know i was asking you

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Pump up the pasta You need bigger boobs

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What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cactus and you are a Jew EJ

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

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what do you call a middle eastern man on a plane? a passenger.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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buttcrack thumbs up

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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