What is brown and sticky? Poop

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Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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Why did Patrick cross the road Because he saw a rock

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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Your mother is so fat that I'm starting to worry about her health.

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Q. Why did the rooster switch on the TV? A. Just for some hentertainment!

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Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

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What's worse than your family dying in a fire? Nothing, that really sucks.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Ask her what her name is

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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What is the Pope's favourite dish to order from the local Indian take-away? Korma.

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Roses are red Violets are red Tulips are red Bushes are red Trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN's ON FIRE!!!!!

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A sprayed behind is a clean BEHIND!

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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why did i fall? i got pushed!

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Whats the difference between a car and a dead child? I don't have a dead baby in my basement.

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A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

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Why was the Asian women crossing 8 lanes of traffic with no blinker? Poor chink had a seizure.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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