Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

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What's worse than a giant paint bubble? TWO GIANT PAINT BUBBLES!

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Q: Whats better than getting raped by a dog? A: Getting raped by a cat.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple at all. Yet only worms to eat, such as the the poverty stricken citizens of Ethiopia.

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i died. new product by steve jobs. also presenting icoffin, and next year icoffin 2. slightly slimmer with a lock button to keep zombies out.

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a rabbi,a priest and minister didn't walk into a bar. Bars are for fun and fun is for not completely insane brainwashed people.

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Whats horny and big A dick minus the big part!

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minecraft

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Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

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Whats big, white, and will kill you if it falls out of a pine tree? A refrigerator

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How did the cat die of indigestion? Indigestion

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A man walks into a bar with an ape. The ape defecates on the floor. The bartender ordered them both out.

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What's the cutest thing about a redhead? I know, I couldnt think of anything either

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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An Asian woman is driving home from work. She gets in an accident and is killed instantly. Her family is traumatized.

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What did the cancer patient do during Willow Smith's "Whip My Hair"? -Nothing.

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what did eminem say to dr.dre? nothing u idoits dr.dres dead he is locked in my basement

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What do you do when you need shade? CALL RAYSEAN

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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