Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

http://attachments.conceptart.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=351301&stc=1&d=1208673890

thumb_up thumb_down

I have adhd theref- hey look a dandelion

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get when mix an orange with juice? Orange juice.

thumb_up thumb_down

Dancing Potatoe!

thumb_up thumb_down

when Bonquisha and Letroy had a baby girl what did they name her? Courtney.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does KFC stand for? Kids Fattening Center

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub? A guy so fat that he can't fit in a bath tub.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

69

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Where's my shotgun

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock Knock... Who's there... .....................

thumb_up thumb_down -6

FAP

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are these jokes so funny? Because they're NOT!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A schizophrenic man walks into a bar. He has split personalities and does not realize that he has murdered his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Don't you spell Pewdiepies name like "Pewdipie" than Pew-die-pie? Like who wants to kill a pie?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why "Is Bart Simpson Yellow Its The Only Crayon The Illustrator had

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the black woman poor? Well, she grew up in a wealthy family, but both of her parents died. Her new parents were not very supportive and she began to not care about school. She did not go to college because of this and was not able to get a job. Therefore, she had no money.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops