A horse walks into a bar and orders a scotch on the rocks. Realizing how strange this occurrence was, the bartender immediately calls the local news station and tells them there is a talking horse in his place of business and it would be in their best interest to come do a story on it, because the likelihood of them finding another story of this magnitude is quite slim.

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A guy walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

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two jews walk into a bar and were served properly

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Why did the autistic man cross the road? He was also depressed. It was a highway.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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Get the FREE anti jokes app with loads and loads of anti jokes anywhere you go, even offline! All the funniest and most popular, and loads more new ones. Why not? After all, it's free! http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/hilarious-anti-jokes-lite/id438092279?mt=8&ls=1

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What's an Animal? A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming. ... are you retarded? yes how did you know?

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Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

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Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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A black man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. The bartender asks "Where did you get that?" The monkey replies "Africa, there are thousands of them."

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A black man owns his own night club. He tells the white man to look out for his night club. The white man bangs his head. The black man says, I told you to look out, you have now bumped into my big club that I take out at night time.

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why didn't the food in your microwave warm up ? because you didn't press start.

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Wanna here a funny joke? Doug.

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An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman were stuck on a desert island, because they were touring investment property islands off the coast of Dubai and their boat had engine trouble. They were eventually picked up in a helicopter.

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why did the woman cross the road? to get to her full time job as a lawyer.

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Who's white and tries his best? Steve Nash

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Hello penis

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What do you feel when you kill a terrorist? Recoil -USMC

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How did Eric Clapton's son fall to his death? He crawled out the window.

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So a Nazi walks into a bar full of jews, he ordered a drink and mumbled slures to himself.

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Hey girl, the word of the day is "legs". So let's go home and research the origin of the term and possibly conduct other etymological studies.

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How do you make a clown sad? Throw a brick at him.

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What's the difference between Skittles and black people? ...I like Skittles.

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Q:What did the goat die? A: I dont know everything dies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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