What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

Ouch.

Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

no

GIRLS that think they can out-drink MEN.

Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

Why doesnt the ladder work? A ladder is an inaminent object therefore imcapable of having a job.

How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

Her lips aren't proportionally fit to her face

Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt will thank you.

roses are red, violets are red, my garden is on fire

what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted to be cool, But I look like you

What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

I see, said the deaf man to the blind guy.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

Kerry Katona becomes independent.

A man runs into a bar. He is instantly knocked out.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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