How do you keep children off your lawn? Molest them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

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Why is ya dad ya dad? ........ because of ya cousin

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Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

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what do gay people eat?? food

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What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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I like to eat people

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(Two person joke for an audience Joke Teller. "What's the difference between a rabbit and a cowsay?" Accomplice "a what?" Joke Teller. "a cowsay?" Accomplice "what's a cowsay?" Joke Teller. "Mooooooo"

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Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

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Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

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If a wheel falls off a bus whilst travelling down a river, how long does it take to shingle a doghouse? None, because there are no bones in cottage cheese.

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Why did the man get hit by a van? He was blind, and his guide dog was an idiot.

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what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

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Whats the difference between football and basketball? Absolutely everything By darragh Hamilton

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Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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The 13th Amendment...

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a black guy and a hispanic are in a car. Whos driveing? The bvlack guys mom, picking them up from a church class, and takeing them to volunteer a the local homeless shelter.

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Why were there teeth marks in the guys arm? He bit himself

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What was the doctor's shirt made out of? Cotton

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Why was the boy crying. He just got raped by a llama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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