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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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Why do matt Daly jokes suck? Because he has Downs.

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A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are standing on the edge of a cliff. They then realize how dangerous that is and proceed to back away and view the canyon at a safe distance.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Did you know it is impossible to say "Good eye might" and not sound Australian...

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Kerry Katona becomes independent.

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What is next?

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Why... ...did the chicken cross the road?

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what did the women say when she found out that superman was clark kent. i know that you are superman clark kent.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

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What did the Anti-Semitic man say to the Jewish man beside him? Hello.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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A Frenchman stays and fights

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the police. Your father's been taken to county jail for his third DUI.

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What do you call a women in the kitchen? A caterer

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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