Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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Ha

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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ARE YOU OKAY? Well thanks for asking actually I could be doing a bit better bu... BUSTER WOLF! Moral: No Im adding moral here, I mean why ask people if they are feeling okay before you break then in half?

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What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

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Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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What happened when the white man saw a black man running with a purse? He called the police. The police proceeded to chase the black man down tackling him into a dumpster, causing permanent spinal damage. Upon investigation into the situation, the black man was deaf and he was bringing the purse, which contained an epi-pen, to his dying wife a block away. The white man who called the police and the police officers involved were sued by the family for a large sum of money.

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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Why is Alex Mann Fat? Because he doesnt eat healthy food.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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Ok, I'll go ask someone else.

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What starts with a 'D' and ends with 'ick' Daniel and Jimmy are walking in the park when suddenly they get hit by a stick because a mysterious person threw the stick.

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What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Listen Nero, lol "listen", anyway, you seem pretty quick to take the blame for my mistakes here, I mean sigh... ...I would never send anyone to harass anyone, but then again I should never allowed them to join in the first place, how bad is that eye doing by the way? I am deeply sorry, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I am eating as I write, I mean I am still scared, I would not blame you if you still keep burning anger towards me.

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Q: What do you get when Justin Bieber gets his own tv show? A: suiside!

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Q. What does a rock and a bird have in common? A. Everything. Except a bird can fly and has wings and can breath and eats and makes babies...

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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What's worse than smelly feet? Smelly hands.

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What's worse than a midlife crisis? Having an affair with the dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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