Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Women's rights...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I was the bigger man in the argument. The person I was arguing with is now unconscious.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Guy 1: Are you alright? Guy 2: No, i'm half left!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: whats worse than getting aids? A: Giving your mom aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

thumb_up thumb_down +4

have you ever noticed that when geese are flying in a V, that one side is longer? Do you know why? no...why? There is more on one side

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the white guy said to the black guy, when he stepped on his foot? Excuse me.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Women Voting

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you get when mix an orange with juice? Orange juice.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's red, loose, and easy to wear? A rock. I lie about everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Your mom is so black that her skin tone is darker than most people

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get an asian out of a rice field? Napalm.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops