wanna hear a joke: women's rights

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a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

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whats brown and smells like shit shit

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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How do you stop a bus? Throw small children in front of it. Except it didn't work for the boy with ice cream.

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Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

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Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

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No it isn't.

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what do you call someone who kills jews? a life saver

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Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

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How are a grape and a duck alike? They're both purple... except for the duck.

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I know a black girl named beyonca.

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Q: What is worse than seven babies in a trash can? A: One baby in seven trash cans. Q: What is worse than one baby in seven trash cans? A: The Holocaust.

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Dear Sarah, Your a damn lesbian! Sincerely Adam Claypool

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What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had sinned.

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Jesse ziggenfat hates his life. He's really obese. Just like his mom...and his sister...and his brother.....and his dad.... And his dog? Bacon?

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What's worst that the Holocaust? Another one.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the voices told him to...

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what did the lawyer say to the doctor? hello.

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Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at rhyming Refridgerator

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Why did the Vietnemese prostitute ask for the phone? Because she wanted to use the phone.

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what did the lion say to the zebra? roar!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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