A boy asks his teacher to go to the bathroom, she says ok but only if he can sya the alphabet. He says ok, but for some reason skips the letter P. How come? -Because he has a sever learning disability and is having a hard time remebering all the letters of the alphabet

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How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie into in!

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friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a water because he's the designated driver

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What's worse than 1000 babies stapled to one tree? 1 baby stapled to 1000 tress.

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Knock knock. Nobody answers because the homeowner was out of the house at the time.

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What's big, yellow and green? The sun, i was kidding about the green

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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You wanna hear a JOKE !?? Justin Bieber has a DICK !!

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A little boy started choking on a condom. His father came and was in a great panic. "Please don't leave me. I don't want to lose you!" he cried over and over again. Then his wife came in and said "it's alright darling, there's plenty more in the drawer". "Oh, thank God for that, I thought I lost it there!" dad replied.

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why is black such a deprssing color because it symbolizes death

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Jack and Jill climbed up the hill .... and fetched a pail of water.

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Knock Knock Come in

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Why did the two men kiss? Because they were both homosexual and attracted to members of the same sex.

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Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

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What did the black kid get for his birthday? A bike, just what he asked for.

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your mom is so stupid, she once wrote a math test and didn't do very well.

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knock knock who's there GET IN THE VAN!

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What is brown and sticky? Poop

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My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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Why did the man have blood on his finger? Because he popped a pimple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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