A stop sign walks into a bar. Looks like somebody invented walking stop signs.

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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Why does a snake have eyes? To see!

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why did the monkey fall out the tree? he lost his grip

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knock knock whose there? it's me, Connie oh hi Connie, wont you come in? oh i was just wandering if i could borrow your scotch tape ofcourse! one moment please. no problem. say, hows phil been? oh he's great, he just got a new job! here's your scotch tape! thank you so much! ....................... what a perfect scene. It is very unfortunate, though, for as Connie walked away from the family whom she borrowed the tape from, a car came by and with a single strike, killed her. this proves that nothing is perfect.

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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what happened after 9/11?? 9/12.

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not good at poems Nice tits

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Sarah got hit by a bus.... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah

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no

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frost bite.

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How do you make a blonde scream? Set her on fire.

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What does an Asian man, Black man, & a Hick all have in common with automatic weapons? The Asian is Vietnamese and fought in the Nam, The Black guy lives in the ghetto and was shot in a drive by, and the hick and his best friend got drunk and shot each other in the foot.

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What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Segregation

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42

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A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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how do you fall off a building? you trip.

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What did the Asian man do when he got lost in the desert? He ate his arms.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

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poo poo you you doo doo too too

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So a man walks into a bar, he meets a few friends, has a few beers, and at the end of the night he calls a cab to drive him home

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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