Old McDonald had a farm But due to the lack of government subsidies, he was unable to make his mortgage payments, causing the bank to foreclose on his property.

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Bird jokes are not funny! Crow up!

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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A Frenchman stays and fights

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

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What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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why wouldn't the boy shake his teachers hand? his abusive father cut it off with an axe when he was a child

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whats beter than a dead pile of babies? the alive one that has to eat its way out

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What did the homeless man get for christmas? NOTHING, he died.

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Wow, that makes your name a lot more comfortable to say... Not type, and you seem to be more sensitive than non-red hair girls. Besides its really nice, why do you dye it? Is it like red or ginger?

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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What did the white guy said to the black guy, when he stepped on his foot? Excuse me.

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omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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Q: Why was the blonde in a black car? A: Becasue the car was a herse and she was killed a week before in an accident where the other driver was drunk Becasue his wife had left him with no money and no kids to come home to.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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