42

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On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me, AIDS

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A man and woman was sitting at a bar. The man bought the woman a roofied drink and she has never been seen again.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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Jared Gough is a slut

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How do you fit 45 Jews into a car? 5 in the car 40 in the ashtray.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

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What do millions of men give their girlfriends every Christmas? AIDS.

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What do Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston have in common? They were both great singers.

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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whats funnier than drews nose .... ??

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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Women have the right to vote.

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What's the difference between a computer and a television?

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There are two muffins in an oven. One says nothing. Muffins can't talk.

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A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

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What happened to Emma? I raped her!

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What do you get when you cross a zombie with a beer? Nothing because zombies are just another subject dealing with the occult.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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Facebook...

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Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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