What do you call a dolphin on a unicycle? You need medical help

thumb_up thumb_down -32

who has no significant other or personal life? who ever is on anti-joke.com

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Hey look! Where? Above you, get the rebound.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Q) why did jimmy kick the bucket. A) Because his dad is an alcoholic and Beats him to the point of near death, so He takes his anger out by kicking anatomit Objects such as a bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Gracias por depositar mi dinero, y tener un buen día, adios.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -42

A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

fabien

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Want to hear a joke about my penis? Nevermind it's too long.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Yo momma so stupid that she went to get a college degree from a community college and along with her education now has a greater opportunity to earn money with that knowledge.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

Q: Where does a hooker go for her footlong? A: Subway

thumb_up thumb_down +59

how many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? well it depends on the size of the bathtub - and the size of the babies, for sure.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Roses are red, Violets are blue, What are you doing, I'm ithyphallophobic.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q: If Jack Bauer is partially gay, then what are you? A: His sidekick -Ryan Vallee

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What do you call: A black person, A white person, A mexican, A Jew, And an athiest? Whatever their names are!

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What is the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson molested boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops