What do you get when you cross a cantaloupe and a dog? "Melon-choly"

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a man pulled up to a girl in a white van with tinted windows. he told the girl he had candy inside. she got in the van. he then proceeded to rape becasue he was a rapist and that is the lifestyle he choose to have.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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asparagus

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Six million.

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What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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How do you upset a builder? Kill all his family.

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Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

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babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

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whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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How did the priest die? Masterbation

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Where did Martha go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What do JFK and Hitler have in common? They died.

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Whats green all over and travels at 100mph A christmas tree in a gokart

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i'm not gay

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why did the pirate not get in to the pirate movie it was rated arrrrrr

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Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

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What does an owl and a mole have in common? They both live underground, apart from the owl

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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What do you call a whore? Kelsey cook duh

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A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

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What's the difference between a duck and a belt? One floats in water and I don't remember the rest but you are a whore.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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