how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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You know you have no friends when you write anti-jokes. [M]

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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How did the blond become a lawyer? She didnt. After many years of collage and studying, she broke down and quit, and became a stripper.

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Why "Is Bart Simpson Yellow Its The Only Crayon The Illustrator had

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How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm? You look for the black guy.

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Did you hear the one about the kid that farted in class? Cool.

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Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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knock knock who's there?

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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hello

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Knock knock. Who is it? The police officer. ok, im not home.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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What is underneath Chuck Norris' Beard? His Chin

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Why did the dog smile? It didn't. Humans are the only creatures on planet Earth capable of smiling, therefore, dogs are unable to smile.

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-How old are you, Dick? -I'm 30 centimeters old

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree, in the middle of august, with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A: None, snakes dont have armpits :D

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Two gay men walked into a bar in a bigoted, small-minded town and were beaten to death with shoes.

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there is no such thing as a dumb blonde. cant you tell? I'm a blonde... skipping school.

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S: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? P: They can chuck wood.

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This is not a joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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