Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

Roses are red Violets are blue Billy is dead and Atom bombs blow up chines $

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

How do you stop your baby from crawling into your room? Shove a spear through its head.

Q: What's the worst part about being a black Jew? A: You have to sit at the back of the oven.

why can't Hellen Keller hear? she is deaf.

A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

Friends are like penguins because when you throw a polar bear at them they die

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs being pulled behind a boat? A: Skip.

The bird is not the word.... Its two

What is the difference between a dog being hit by a car and an Arab being hit by a car? There are skidmarks before the dog

kiss me?

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

Two muffins are in an oven. It was a really small batch.

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

Q: Wanna hear a dirty joke? A: Your mother sucks.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

What happened to the boy who lost his arm? He got on suprisingly well in life considering he has the use of only one arm, and got a terrific job. He managed to meet a woman, , and he was a generally happy guy. He lived to a great age, and he, nor anyone around him, ever thought of him as different or disabled. It's good to hear a happy anti joke once in a while isn't it guys?

A Mormon walks into a bar.

You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

Q: What did Santa give the little boy for Christmas? A: Nothing, he's not real

Why did Superman stop collecting stones? Did he ever? Moral: Yes but his kryptonite collection seemed to slow him down at times... until he stopped...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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