A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

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What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

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your mom is so blind she cant read.

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Why couldn't the black man sleep at night? His eye lids were cut off

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Why do you believe in evolution? Because it increases the power of my pokemon.

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It didn't, there were no roads back then

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Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

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Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sweats, it is more than the normal amount of sweat.

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whats brown and smells like shit shit

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Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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how do you kill a jew? inject him/her with gratuitous amounts of cyanide until they cease to have brain function and a pulse.

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Barack Obama

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What happened when the roof fell on a young boy? Nothing. He was an orphan.

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lick my ballsack.... ok

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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Q. What is green and has wheels? A. Grass, I was joking about the wheels.

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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a man walked up to me and said someone is dying with long terminal cancer i said who? man replies your cat. i replied i don't have a cat. man says whoops wrong person

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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