69 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *goes crazy and shoots himself*

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? 3

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What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

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I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm about to kill you Don't scream, here's a lollipop

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Why did the child die? Natural causes.

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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What did the man do after he took a bite of his pie? Chew. After that? Swallow. Then? Repeat.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, trains.

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Why did Michael Jackson go to McDonald's? Because he was hungry.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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The awkward moment when a joke doesn't end the way you think it dinosaur.

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What did the blind man say to the librarian? Hello, I am looking for books that are published in braille.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic child.? DAMN

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He returned it to the crazed gentleman who sent it to him.

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What's the difference between a Ginger and a Brick? A ginger is a living organism.

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A man forgets to hang his food in a tree on a camping trip. A bear comes and kills his wife and two kids but leaves the man to live with the guilt for the rest of his life.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. False. Violets are violet

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What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drug dealer? An alcoholic is an extremely corrupted, and unhealthy living person. Though so is a drug dealer... They are both very harmful situations in many ways.

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What did the girl say to the guy raping her? Stop.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

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So these IRS agents were negotiating a deal.....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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