Hey, are you 5? Ya I am 5 inches deep in your MOM!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

http://attachments.conceptart.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=351301&stc=1&d=1208673890

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Wats a joke?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

babe whos moaning? are you with another woman? guy:god damn if you would stay in the kitchen we would never have any problems.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What happened to the baby that wondered into oncoming traffic? It got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man finds an old lamp, rubs it, and releases the genie trapped inside. The genie grants him three wishes. So the man wishes for a million more wishes and uses them all wisely,

thumb_up thumb_down -5

how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

69

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a black man in space? A space monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A woman walks into a bar and orders a pint of ale. "Are you a Lesbian?", joked the barman. "Yes", replied the woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Drunk irish man

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why is it sad that nobody was injured in a train crash? A: Because everyone died

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you call a blonde who can't drive? a poor driver

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear the one about the kid that farted in class? Cool.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you stop a pedophile from following you? Throw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the salad say to the dressing? Nothing! Carrots don't talk!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops