how do you make a dead baby float? take your foot off its head.

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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Yo momma so ugly that she had self esteem issues and committed suicide, making her husband extremely depressed.

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Whats the difference between a walnut and a baby ? Ones fun to hit with a hammer and the other is a walnut

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

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Dumbledore: Yo mamma's so fat --- her Patronus is a cake! Voldemort: ...bitch!

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A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

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Why was the chicken sad because it lost it's family

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Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

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Are you sure Jewsus was not a Jew?

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What did the Groom give to his Bride on their honeymoon? Herpes.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

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A man runs over a woman with his car, whose fault was it? The woman's for trying to cross the street in the dark without a crosswalk.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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A moose walks into a grocery store, he asks the deer where he could find some bisquits, the deer says "oh it's in aigle 6." So the moose goes to aigle 6...and there ain't no bisquits!

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Two penguins are in a bathtub, one penguin asks the other "can you pass the soap?" the other penguin says "what do I look like? A toaster?"

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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Do you ever feel, like a plastic bag? No, because plastic bags are man-made inanimate objects.

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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