A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

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Why couldn't the basketball player jump anymore? Because he broke his back.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

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Why do showers in Germany have 11 holes? Because a regular human on has 10 fingers.

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Why did LeBron James up and bail on Cleveland? He thought there was a greater opportunity for postseason success by playing in Miami.

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What did the boy tell the girl at recess? An anti-joke

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Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

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What did Greg say to John? Nothing. Greg died in a horrible plane crash

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Why did the girl die? No one knows.

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What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

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Q: what did the man say to the wall A: Nothing it's a wall therefore incapable of talking

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There's two men on a subway. One says "Hey, that's my sandwich.".

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A red house is red. A blue house is blue. What color is the green house? Clear they are made of glass.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? She's dead.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

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Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

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What looks like a jew, smells like a jew, but claims he isn't jewish? Fletcher Phillips

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What's a zombie's favourite dessert? I don't know, but I'll give you 50 bucks to go and ask one.

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Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

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Hippopatomous!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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