What did the black man say to the policeman? "Take it easy."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Uh, erm, uh...I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the kid say when you gave him a cookie? Thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

So, North Korea is getting ready to nuke the US... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the Dog say to the Cat? Nothing, Cats and Dogs are of different species and can therefore not understand one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many blind people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Does it matter?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

yo mama's so fat, we are all extremely concerned about her health

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's dead? Your mum.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did pikachu say when his trainer was murdered? Pikachu.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

thumb_up thumb_down +29

roses are green violets are red im shooting heroine into my head

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a black hitch-hiker? Stranded

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Dick spice

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops