When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

you will now laugh.

Why do policemen wear belts? To hold up their pants.

Why did the family go to Mexico? Because they were deported

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Yes, but he hasn't.

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

What happened to the alligator who waled into a bar? He was killed and skinned by swamp hunters in Louisiana.

"Why did the chicken cross the-" "Gosh! Why can't we just live in a world where a chicken can simply cross the road without being questioned about it's motives?!?!" ~McKenna<3

There was once a joke without a proper ending and so

Yo' momma's so fat, she has an increased risk of cardiovascula disease and may die.

There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

Why did the cookie go to the docter? Because he was dieing of terminal cancer.

Roses are red, Violets are pencil, this poem makes no sense, refrigerator

p p p penis. penis's are big and juicy

Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

A man walks into a bar. Q: What's the apple doing on your head? A: Peach? It's not pear. It's banana.

The Irish man was sober.

What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

Your social life

What's brown and sticky? A stick

What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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