What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

What do you get when you have sex with a $10 prostitute? Nothing, she's clean. She may be low-scale, but she'll be damned if she's not careful.

What did the child who tried to hang himself, but wasn't heavy enough to achieve breaking his neck do? Died slowly.

A Jew doesn't walk out of the Holocaust.

A: Knock, Knock! B: Who's there? A: Boo B: Boo, who? A: Don't cry, it's only me!

Knock knock Who's there? Knock knock Knock knock who? Knock knock

Jacob Edwards has friends.

69

OBAMA

whats woorse then being stupid? kaelynn... aka big head

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?.....Why the **** do you care?

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

Q: What did one dog say to the other dog? A: "Bitch!"

Why did Little Billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a washing machine.

Whats Green and has wheels? Grass, I was kidding about the wheels.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well neither has he.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a shark? One is a person and one is a fish. Other than that, not much at all.

how many gay guys does it take to fix a blender? baby oil!

A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

-How old are you, Dick? -I'm 30 centimeters old

where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

Yo mama's so fat. PERIOD.

What has two thumbs and is very pale? A dead baby.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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