omg this doesn't work 1.hold breath for 5 minutes 2.die it doesn't work cause you would just knock yourself unconconsiuse and your body will start breathing for you again until you wake up

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Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

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Nero, I understand, what I thought was correct, was to teach people to understand those exact words that you are conveying. Its not that, I am afraid of showing the world the man that I am. But rather that I am not a man, I admire your vision, and tried to follow it, as we got much in, common, I can think as an individual and still admire your work. But you know how society is built, if too many find out I am a woman, then that not only reveals that I have been lying to them, which I have, but also that well, women are not exactly seen as equals, I know I never was, all people ever saw in me was "a great pair of tits".

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Roses are red Violets are red I murdered the gardener

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There once was a man in Peru, Who dreamt he was eating his shoe. He was promptly taken to the hospital but died from infection.

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Are you a human?

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How does a blonde restart her computer? Seriously, you guys, I need help. I'm not a very technological person.

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

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A Japanese woman walks into a Korean deli, and asks the Korean man if she can buy some groceries. They are able to get past their cultural differences, and share their favorite recipes.

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Money is no object. Because I don't have any.

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http://attachments.conceptart.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=351301&stc=1&d=1208673890

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Billy is walking down the street when he spots 1 armed johnny hanging in a tree.Billy proceeds to wave causing Johnny to wave with his 1 arm. Johnny falls out of the tree and dies

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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Do you really want to know what i shit? Poo

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Are you understanding any of this caboose? I think so, that guy is really a robot and you his boy friend so that makes you.................a gay robot. yes i am a gay robot. -_-

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whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

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Q: What did Gaddafi get for Christmas? A: Brain Surgery

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What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

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What happened to the baby that wondered into oncoming traffic? It got hit by a truck.

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Why did the black man rob the bank? Well..why not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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