Ask me if you can see my dinosaur. Can I see your dinosaur? No dinosaurs don't exist sillyhead!

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How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

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A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The horse, being unable to understand the barman, breaks a table and shits on the floor.

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Why don't blind men skydive? Because it would be unwise for a man who can't see to be jumping out of planes, completely unaware of his surroundings.

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Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

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as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

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Q: how do you get a girl with one arm to fall out a tree? Wave and wait for her to wave back.

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Why is 6 afriad of 7? because 7 killed 8 with a pistol and is now on a killing spree.

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

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How many licks does it take to got to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? 357

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A woman leaves the kitchen.

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What is worse than getting mud on your brand new t-shirt Getting stabbed.

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A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

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What's the same between a plane a bird and a piece of celery? They all fly except the celery

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Someone listens to an anti joke. They laugh.

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roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

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Q: What's the quickest way to a woman's heart? A: Through her ribcage.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a serious alcohol problem that gave him violent tendencies.

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What call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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