how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

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a blond, brunette, and red head all walk out of a hair salon.

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Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

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What do you call 2 tigers, a zebra, and a walrus? A small zoo full of 4 animals

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What do you call Chuck Norris when there is a bullet inside of him? Dead.

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School : Todays lesson, 1 + 1 = 2 Exam, find the radius of the sun

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Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

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What do you call a whore? Kelsey cook duh

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How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5.

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Light Yagami. I'm a gay light bulb :D

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Q: How do you win the tour defrance if you have one nut? A: Hard work and dedication.

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a guy gets knocked out and wakes up in a alley all bloody and a knife next to him!!!

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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Q:When a terrorist attack happened what did the woman with the 1 leg say? A: HOP for your lives!!!!

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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What does wasabi spell backwards? Ibasaw

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What do you call a black man with his doctorate in the field of marine biology? Doctor

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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What's are the screams and terror when midnight hits? Vannlia Ice's face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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