How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? While Beethoven enjoyed many different varieties of fruit, he found strawberries the most appealing.

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What did the mute say to his friend? Nothing.

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What's worse than a truckload of dead babies? Wait a week.

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how many prostitutes does it take to fix a lightbulb? it depends how much you pay them

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'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

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what do men with small penises use as condoms? appropriately sized condoms.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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Alex Eggbert

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A: how do u wake up lady gaga? B: you poke her face

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What does Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na equal? A lot of sodium

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Woman's rights.

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YOLO

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Why couldnt the boy lick his elbows? Because he lost his arms after he was violently beaten by his drunk father with a bat.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new home? No. Neither has he....

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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What's worse than an avalanche? Being raped in prison.

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how do you keep a black kid from jumping on the bed? pick up a parenting book ask him nicely try a time out not care because he's a kid and hes supposed to jump on beds?

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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Enchilada

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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