What do you call a Jew in Harlem? It depends on what his name is. I advise procuring a polite introduction from a mutual acquaintance.

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A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

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Gadaffi

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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why did the truck crash into a tree? cause staplers dont know how to drive

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the sloth fall out of the tree? Because it was holding hands with the monkey. Why were the monkey and the sloth holding hands? Because they were best friends.

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THERES AN APP FOR ANTI JOKES ? now thats not funny !

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A British man walks into a dental office.

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Why did Simon drown? Simon couldn't swim.

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Whats 9 + 10? 19

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Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

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what do you get when you mix a bever and a racoon? A bevecoon!

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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Why God isn't a woman? Because Moses wouldn't last it 40 days on the mountain if that was true. And he also wouldn't come back with only 10 rules.

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a fish.

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what ya call e dong withb eyes peeneyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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