Why did the man buy a large butcher knife and a shot gun at 3am while his family was asleep at home? because he suffered from insomnia and figured running some errands would give him something to do. his wife had also been telling him that their current knife was getting old and rather dull and since one of his favorite hobbies was duck hunting he decided it wouldn't hurt to buy a new gun considering it was on sale for a reasonable price

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Joay impistato is a fig

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Six million.

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What is funnier than an uncontrolled explosions? Most things, because explosions damage property, and cause deaths.

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What is black but also yellow? A song.

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A Jew, a Mormon, and an Atheist walk out of a bar. They all get in a car with the Jew driving. They were all deceased do to the fact of a very large car accident. Know your limits. Don't drink and drive!

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What do you do if a blond throw a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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What's flatter than a pancake? The baby I just ran over.

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[] i have read and agree to the terms of service Nope

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Hippopatomous!

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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So a female ant walks into a bar... and someone steps on it.

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A rabbi and a jew walk into a bar and had lot's of crazy anal sex ... then asked god for forgiveness. the end

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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If you are good at taking quizzes, you are quizzical. What are you if you are good at taking tests? Testical.

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Whos breath stinks and mas in jail. Bomber Neville

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Knock Knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? How dumb are you?

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Q: What's black and blue and hates sex? A: The 8-year-old boy tied up in my garage.

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School : Todays lesson, 1 + 1 = 2 Exam, find the radius of the sun

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What's red and has wheels a red car....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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