Charlie Sheen walks into a bar, he relapses.

Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

"why did the chicken cross the road?" "to get to your house" "knock knock" "who's there?" "The chicken"

Your mother is so fat that she has diabetes

Once my grandpa said: Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I said: No. Your generation relies too much on technology. Then I unplugged his life support.?

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

Why did the girl die? No one knows.

why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

Why did Eve eat the fruit first? Because women are whores.

Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

Knock Knock... Who's there... .....................

how do you annoy people? make statuses from anti-joke.com

Which came first, The chicken or the egg? Well, Firstly, I suppose that depends on if we are discussing Creation or Evolution. If we are talking about Evolution, The Chicken must Logically have evolved from an egg laying creature, one which was similar to, but not quite a chicken, so, the first chicken hatched from the egg of said creature. However, if we are discussing Creation, there is no way to discern which the deity in question decided to create first, so, even odds. Therefore, Logically, there is a 75% chance the Egg came first. However, if we are discussing Chicken Eggs Specifically, the reverse is true, because the egg the first Chicken hatched from would not have been a chicken egg, it would have been the egg of another creature, a "proto-chicken" if you will. and so, in the evolution scenario, the Chicken came first. Still, in this situation, there are even odds as to which a creator may or may not have created first. Therefore, Logically, in this Scenario, there is a 75% chance that the Chicken came first

Yo momma so hot she won a beauty contest and was later shot and killed by the jealous losers

A guy is in Weekends Millionaire. He says: I could use a lifeline. Quizmaster: Which one would you like? Guy: Anyone, I have AIDS

What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

How did the man rape the woman? With his penis.

What did the man say when he turned on his car? AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHH!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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