a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

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What do you call a black person pushing a car? A very strong human being.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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What do you call a kid with headgear and one leg? Names.

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a dyslexic man can't spell a word, don't judge him

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After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

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how do you know a chinese person has been in your house? #1 your homework is done #2 your computer is upgraded #3 when you get home there still pulling out of your driveway

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Stephen Hawkings was ice skating on the Eiffel Tower... then he woke up.

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What is black and white and red all over. A blackboard.

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what's famous and sounds like a type of food? a famous artist's name slightly modified to include the name of a food

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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Good for him. Thats wonderful!

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Anything you want, it's only a fish.

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Knock Knock Who is there? 9-11 9-11 who? You said you would never forget.

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What do you call two black guys on a bike? Unsafe operation of a bicycle.

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A nigger looked up his family tree and a gorrila shit in his face

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What do you call a mexican riding a bike? A cyclist.

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Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

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Knock knock It's open

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Excuse me sir, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a pair of shoes and gloves

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What's worse then ten dead babies being nailed to a tree? Being the one to take them down.

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who has no willy? robbie kearns

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what is worse than the holocaust harry' ear acne

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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