who has no willy? robbie kearns

Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a pair of shoes and gloves

What's a tissue's favorite kind of music? Nothing, tissue's do not have ear canals or ear drums and there for cannot hear any type of sound wave.

Kid walks into principals office Principal: do you know why I called you down here. Kid: yeah, I punched a kid at lunch. Principal: that's not why I called you down here

Stephen Hawkings was ice skating on the Eiffel Tower... then he woke up.

Your mom is so stupid, she decided to go back to school.

Good for him. Thats wonderful!

what's famous and sounds like a type of food? a famous artist's name slightly modified to include the name of a food

If life gives you lemons, you can't really make anything because you lack the proper materials.

how do you know a chinese person has been in your house? #1 your homework is done #2 your computer is upgraded #3 when you get home there still pulling out of your driveway

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: slightly aged post it note glue

What do you call two black guys on a bike? Unsafe operation of a bicycle.

6

What do you call a kid with headgear and one leg? Names.

So a Nazi walks into a bar full of jews, he ordered a drink and mumbled slures to himself.

Excuse me sir, you wouldn't happen to have the time, would you?

69

a priest, a rabbi, and a shaman walk into a bar. they all wish me happy birthday bearing gifts. except there's no rabbi. or priest. or shaman. I'm not in a bar. I'm in my room. alone. i spent most of my birthdays that way.

Why did the little boy and the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because they were dead.

A man walks into a bar and walks up to the counter. The bartender looks the man up and down and asks "Can I help you?" "Ya, get this guy off my ass" the duck promptly replies.

What did the Jew get for Christmas? A ride to a Concentrtation Camp.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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