Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.forty-two

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How do you keep someone in suspense? I'll tell you tomorrow.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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Women

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What is wrong with this phrase? The next line is false. The first line is true. Answer: llamas

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Q. Why did the Muslim go to hell? A. Because his name was Osama Bin laden.

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Why don't Polish women use vibrators? They are extremely conservative Catholics.

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What does shit and fire have in common? Hitler gave both to jews.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

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Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

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whats sad about three black men driving off a cliff in a cadillac? a cadillac seats five.

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5

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What do you call a black man in the olympics? An olympian.

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans on fire? Jumping Beans.

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A guys walks up to a drug dealing looking to score some drugs. The deal was made an the man quickly arrested the drug dealer because he was actually a undercover cop

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What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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My mother-in-law is so fat that I sometimes worry my wife will look just like her after she gives birth.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Whats hairless, looks like a bel end and stinks of onions. Adey Bradley

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What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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123 Main street

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I don't remember the rest of the joke but your mom's a whore.

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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A: Knock! Knock! B: Who's there? A: Kitchen B: Kitchen who? A: GET THERE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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