Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +14

today i wanted to write a joke...... a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock! Who's there? Elton. Elton who? Elton John

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why are black people faster than white people? They are descended from a lineage where athleticism was more greatly selected for in the evolutionary process.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Facebook...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do 10 dead babies in a blender sound like? Idk because I was too busy masturbating

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock Come In.......

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

anne hatthaway

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops