What's after 9/11? 9/12

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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Why wasnt the chicken able to cross the road? Because it was disabled

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Dick spice

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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What's the diffrents beetween a carrot and a dead baby? One I like to eat in my soup, the other one s a carrot.

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i want to eat a horse out jaffa cake

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Person1: Why did the chicken cross the road? Person2: I dunno.-. to get to the other side? Person1: :( I dream of a better tomorrow where a chicken can cross the street without having his motives questioned

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Ask me if I'm a giraffe Are you a giraffe? Yes

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, Run Quick, Before I eat you and die of obesity due to high blood pressure and bad heart disease!!!

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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Knock Knock Come in

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One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

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Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

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"knock knock" "who's there?" "its your girlfriend, lets have sex"

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I had a grammar lesson yesterday. I learned how to speak more good.

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3 dogs, a blue dog, a yellow dog, and a red dog. The owner was a man named Jeff. Now the blue dog was always sad so Jeff named him blue. The yellow dog was always scared so Jeff named him yellow. Now the red dog he was red because he had red fur, so Jeff named him red. One day when Jeff was reading his newspaper, he accidentally hit his coffee and it fell on the floor. Question: What did Jeff do? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops