What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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joe diragi makes paul look straight

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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what do you get if you cross a cat with a cat? kittens.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Ouch.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

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verry nice how mUCH?

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Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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