Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

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What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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A) why did the black guy leave the bar B) cause he was tired and wanted to go home

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Why did the dog bark at the tall white man? Because the tall white man was in the process of attempting to rob the house in which said dog was situated. The dog was merely defending its patch.

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What do you call an alligator in a vest? An amphibious mammal wearing clothes. Why would you ask me that.

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Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: She got hit in the face with an axe

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A blind man walks into a bar with a guide dog in one hand and his girlfriend in the other. The bartender says "Nice dog." The blind man says "Thanks."

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Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

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What do you get when you cross a tho with a mas THOMAS!!!!!

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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Two rabbits are being chased by dogs and hide in a log in the forest. The male pushes the female to the dogs which are at both sides of the log and gets off Scott free.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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'Knock knock' 'who's there?' 'Whinny the poo' 'Whinny the poo who?' 'Whinny the poo'

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

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a black guy and a hispanic are in a car. Whos driveing? The bvlack guys mom, picking them up from a church class, and takeing them to volunteer a the local homeless shelter.

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Whats red and eats like dog? A fox.

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Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He has been diagnosed with chronic insomnia.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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