Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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Whats black and white and red / read all over * a bloody penquin * nun falling down the slairs * news paper * a clumsey panda

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Did you know it is impossible to say "Good eye might" and not sound Australian...

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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What's the sound of victory? The sound of a knife cutting into a baby.

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hiya im writing this coz im drunk and ktieally slumped over the keyobard i feel relaly sick man and i dunno why i;lm teling you this, coz i should reallyt nbe om nrd ny noe. goodnight antijokers

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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A Frenchman stays and fights

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You know whats funnier than 24? What? 25.

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty eight year olds? There's twenty of them.

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Q: What's the difference between a basket of tennis balls and a basket of dead baby heads? A: One is used for the sport of tennis the other is a basket of tennis balls!

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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Women's rights...

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Marijuana

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What did the prisoner say to the man who posted his bail? Thank you.

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Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

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Knock knock Who's there? The mailman The mailman who? The MAILMAN The MAILMAN who? I'm the Fu*king mailman now here's your MAIL!

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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A Banana wrote this...

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Why didn't the chicken get to the other side of the road? Because chickens are in farms

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Q: What's funnier than a dead baby? A: Two dead babies.

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops