Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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A guy comes to a doctor and says: - Doctor, lately I'm having this dream where I kill my father and rape my mother. What does it mean? - Nothing.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? The wind. The wind who? ...

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Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church. The priest says “We don’t allow Higgs Bosons in here.” The Higgs Boson replied, “Well, without me, you can’t have mass.”

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He didnt, he got ran over.

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what did the train say to the other train choo chooo

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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PFF! I hate that shit XD not saying that claymation cant be art, but that Plonsters or whatever is just something I dragged out of my head.

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- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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What's the difference between a rooster and a waffle iron? A lot.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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Why didn't the lactose intolerant man get a drink at the bar? He was the designated driver.

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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Have you seen Helen Keller's back porch? Neither did she.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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