Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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What did the Atheist say in church? His best friend's eulogy.

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knock knock. Who's There? Cancer.

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why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a salad. salads can't fly planes.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Your mom’s so dumb she forgot to update her WordPress installation and now she has pharmaceutical links all over her page.

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kiss me?

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What is the difference between dead babies and a corvette? There is no corvette in my garage

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One of them I can whack with a hammer, the other is a watermelon.

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why was the snowman so happy? because a child placed pieces of coal in a "u" shape on it.

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#scabbers

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How do you pleasure your grandmother? Ask your brother

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What do you do when a blond ask you a question? Answer politely and thank her for her wonderful question.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It should only take one person to do this job regardless of hair color.

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emma: how will we survive zombies? mat t: just give me a blow job ......4 seconds later emma: so what now?

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girl: Daddie, what's at the end of a rainbow? Dad: No sweetie, a rainbow is acually just an illusion constructed by the refraction of light white as it passes through a water particle in the stratophere. Acting as a prisom the particle will seperate the different components of light, ordering them by the rank of the light energy and the intencity of it's frequency and wavelength.

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Q. Why did the Mexican have to go back to Mexico? A. His mom died in an auto accident and no one in her village could afford to organize a proper funeral.

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Q: What sucks? A: Straws

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what happens when you jump of a cliff usually you die

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what do you call a gay bird a gaybird

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What do you call a black man with a group of 5 white guys? Friends. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? a diffrent ratio of black and white friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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