roses is red violet is blue i will smack you

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why couldn't the blonde drive? Because she was 14, thus incapable of having a drivers license

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Japan called... They need help.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the girl say to the boy? I don't know it was a private conversation

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how much is a microwave full of dead babies? a fridge full of dead puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between a plum and a bunny? They're both purple. Except the bunny.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's funnier than a rock. A funny rock.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you make someone feel stupid? You throw a smart person at them

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? I'm not sure, but I would probably have nightmares for a couple weeks.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops