A seal walks into a club. Do you like my new shoes?

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joe diragi makes paul look straight

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What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Nevermind.

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because it is very unsafe for blind individuals to operate motor vehicles.

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What do you call a dog that's half poodle, half bulldog? A dog.

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What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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What do you call a guy who set's pancakes on fire? Mentally confused, and in need of a psychiatrist.

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What does Santa get for Christmas? Chikungunya Fever.

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Knock knock Whose there? Interrupting doctor Interr-- You have cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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You are short with no perm, you will never be Kat Willams.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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What did the black kid call the white kid? His name...

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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What did the guy who walked into a bar say? Ouch

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Geuss what? Bob is wide awake and he likes strawberries but he didn't have any strawberries so he ate a hamburger but fred wanted a hamburger but bob ate it so he just ate bob but bob was wide awake so he saw fred eating him so he called the pigs to come and eat fred because pigs eat anything but the pigs had already eaten their daily freds so they ate bob because they hadn't already eaten their daily bob but fred had already eaten bob so they got angry at fred so they just ate him anyway but then they got fat so a wolf ate them but then some hunters killed the wolf and ate it so they are actually eating a hamburger because the wolf ate the pigs and the pigs ate fred and fred ate bob and bobb ate a hambuger but he actually likes strawberries.

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Jackson gets a new phone he drops it what does he have. (a beating )

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The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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